Pot Helps pt. 12 (Summer Heat)

I've assembled quite a collection of music over the years
but it's not enough
I must compete.
With your coloring outside of the lines that drives me wild with
apathy and timidity.
Earth quaking my 200lbs of meat.
Like when I'm suffering from acute acataphasia in
my computer chair.
Because there's a world out there.
Like when my tires pound the street.
and there's heat
and life
and
a desire to care.

I've wished secretly that we were kids again
if it weren't enough
but I must compete.
With the spectra I can and cannot see, so I feel
valid and complete.
The stinging anxiety of an apocalypse dream.
Like when I'm all nasolacrimal thinking about
that Iraqi sunshine.
Because someday I too will have to die.
Like I wanted to when I was your bel esprit.
and there was heat
and life
and
my open eyes.